Music be...

Music be my dope, i'm a levitating addict
Music be my conflict, i'm a philosophising lunatic
Music be my lover, i'm constantly orgasmic
Music be my peace, i'm blissfully crazy

Music be my pain, i'm a fucking masochist
Music be my pleasure, i'm a passive hedonist
Music be my life, i'm spinning reincarnations on a wheel
Music be my death, i'm the fire of the phoenix

Music be my solitude, i'm the haunt of a midnight oasis
Music be my loneliness, i'm the north star of the ships
Music be my unrest, i'm the transition of galaxies
Music be my meditation, i'm the slumber of rolling hills

Music be my story, i'm the timelessness of destiny
Music be my God, i'm the baby of Eternity.

- a sonnet in honor of music - whose humble slave i forever intend to be...
- 5th octobre.

It was when i stepped offstage that evening, after successfully rendering Sweet Child O' Mine, could i finally sleep in my bed peacefully without guilt - guilt that i could sing, but was a disdainful reflection of it onstage. After having lost everything to a man, when the success registered, it brought with it a haunting, still emptiness. The conquest of beginning again with the only strand of hope i had left in me of growth had been achieved. It was over for it had begun. I achieved a drunk stupor, an overbright smile and a carelessness of manner - for nothing would suffice to express the hollowness of the depression.
The journey inward has begun. And as it pains more with each passing day, i refuse to blind myself with tears for long, refuse to ask myself questions of him, and call upon my Master to bring forgiveness in my wake. There can be no respite now...but Death.