Unwritten - Natasha Beddingfield

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you can not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you can not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you can not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

...a cute song by Natasha Beddingfield written for her li'l brother.

Miles to go...

As the day ends too late... board a different bus...an unobtrusive different route charting towards the same weary destination - home.
I feel tears stream down my eyes.They have made my cheeks too a regular course,it seems.A lonely one.
I long for the same arms to hold me.I long for love.As i have, all the conscious hours of my life.
I was asked how i could be left alone in the middle of a street in the middle of a night...in the middle of a fight...maybe in the middle of some obsolete love.
Today the scene's different. I'm alone. I realized how right a dear one was.We all are.Eventually. A sad feeling.I'm alone today...not just at night, but even during the day.
The only one who i prioritised the highest in my life...guiltily and maybe it's an unforgivable sin too, doesn't even know whether i'm alive or dead.
I long for a song.
Maybe not just one,but a whole album...
Through the pain that feels like i'm drinking a poison slowly with excruciating pain, and is searing down my eyes uncontrollably,i talk to myself softly(don't want my colleague sitting beside me to think i'm mad u know...)
I whisper to myself the words of my favourite song...trying to concentrate on something beautiful and nice at the end of an exhaustive day. They come.Forgotten,unforgettable melodies. The violins.The cellos.The prance of a flute. Am i lost in the song ? No. I still hurt.my heart's aching.big time ya...the tears are simply squeezing out of my heart.

The song washes over me...like as if it bathes my soul with warm water...
and another one comes awake with an ethereal, and sweet fragrance :
"Goodbye's the saddest word i'll ever hear....
Goodbye's the last time i'll hold u near...
...That a love so strong...will someday be gone...
...It'll break my heart to hear u say goodbye."

Something stirs a recollection...of a golden thought in an antique memory - Daddy had once told me,"no one can be your best friend...someday there's gonna be no one for you...at that time only one friend will help you to get through - music.Don't let go its company.Ever."
His words echo like as if they were meant to be heard today.You were so right Daddy.
Even with a broken heart, the heart does go on...beats on.Sometimes i wish it would stop.Rest awhile.In this crazy world where we try to be strong everyday...every night.
More memories.More recollections.Of every harsh word spoken. Of beautiful gestures shown. I pray for Forgiveness from the Almighty.
And suddenly the bus lurches.I remember i'm destined to go somewhere.I almost miss my stop.I get up in a haste. Make a fool of myself again as i forget to wipe away my tears.
I get down the bus.
I remove my silent cell.The network is silently perched on the display.
No word from him.Life moves on quiely.My heart breaks a millionth time again.Silently.
There are still miles to go...
...before i sleep.

Where are you

Where are you now
Where is your care...
Where is the reasonable man
I'd loved when we'd met

Where are you now
In happiness or sad
Do you love to see me broken
When i thought you'd be there

You kissed away my tears
You put away my fears
You made me feel safe
You made me feel treasured.

Now there's a numbness
Settling in more everyday
The more i try to be what u want me to be
The more we drift apart.

Look inside yourself
Do u see the man in you
Who was with me when we'd met?
Where are you now?

How good is it to shut away
Someone who loves you?
How many days will you lament
When you realize she truly loved you?

She cries alone in the midnight blues
Out of reach,out of touch with ur soul
As every moment passes sans your warmth
She feels closer to death.

Where are you when...
At the end of the day
She breaks her rules and her body
To come to you... to get heartbroken.

Where are you in love
Do u have a flower...
Or even a chocolate...
That would light her eyes like a little girl's?

Where are you now ...

-moi.

Wanna read a wonderful blog...?!!

http://passionrisesfromtheashes.blogspot.com/

Here it is!

And check this one out...whacky huh?!

http://krazyteens.blogspot.com/

A lost song

Life's going on as usual
Days are busy and hectic...
Friends keep calling off and on
And I think I've moved on...

But when the moon comes up,
All the feigned solitude's gone
I'm filled with loneliness
I just wanna hold u in my arms.

Your thoughts fill up my mind
I wonder if you're doing fine
Do u think of me or miss me even...
I wish you'd atleast call...

All i do every night
Is wait for it to pass away,
While i'm gone with u in a yesterday
Somewhere in my mind i know
I will just have to let u go.

I pray u miss me so much
That u can't bear the silence any longer,
I wish that u ache as hell for me
So you reach out to me even stronger.

I wish our love would really 'happen'
The way it always does in fiction,
Again its just my imagination...
And everything, a desired illusion.

...I know...u may not have the slightest notion...
'Coz u may not share my single emotion.

-- By moi dèpassèe... 2001.

I miss u

When i see the silver moonlight,
When i hear birds chirping happily,
When i feel the clouds of mist around me,
And smell the spring in the air,
I miss u.

I miss u with all my emotions,
I miss u with my body and soul,
I miss u kissing me tenderly,
I miss u deeply.

When i see the tranquille blue sea,
And the serene mountains around
And the fields with the dancing yellow flowers,
I miss u.

While i'm sipping hot coffee in the cold
Or while i wear my favourite perfume,
When my eyes sparkle brighter than diamonds,
I miss u.

- Written by me...on 25/10/2001.

Papillon

Life stirred from shimmering pools of green,

Silver cocoons feeding slowly…

Inching towards the freedom of being,

Crawling in a struggling world to reach self-defined glory.

Wrapped up in throes of incapacitances,

Gifted by God, destiny, karma or fate…

In the end they’re all the same…

Indelible impressions on a man they make

Stumbling into a world so pristine,

He finds himself a worm in a continuum of molding

Inching in a long, eventful journey…

Toward a growth - slow for some, n for some so hasty.

There… a worm sees a golden glow…

Just beyond a horizon mellow,

His morning has finally come…

Voilà! The papillon spreads its wings to freedom!

Here we all are…butterflies…

Each such a beautiful example of Life…

Emblazoning it uniquely every instance

On our wings in moiré resplendence.

A riot of experiences and sadness drunk

As nectar from every blossoming afflatus

Groping for that elusive dream in the dark

Until we finally arrive at our morning calm.

I search for my dawn like so many others

The enlightenment I often feel is just around the corner

But in grand curiosity I’m fluttering away

Dipping…soaring n getting lost in weird byways.

I chanced upon a big papillon

With wings so charismatically strong…

With wide eyes and tiger stripes

Fluttering seemingly precariously,

With some latent injury

It carried on ceaselessly.

Until it collapsed suddenly.

I ventured close…a bit frightened…

“I’m alright!” it often thundered,

I went nearer…closer to carry

The tears it was so adept at hiding,

And a pearl of its tear fell upon my wing,

Crystallized into friendship with all its absurdity.

I unburden my friend by just one tear...

Nonetheless, with a grateful prayer...

God bless such papillons who find their dreams

In recreating those that have crashed terminally,

Who see their sunrise in smiles fate left incomplete

And practice masked determination in a vulnerable territory.

Trying to win battles in a ‘No Man’s Land’,

The distance between Life n Death is just a line’s nuance,

Where the death knell is sounding continually in your ears…

Yet you don a shield of courage n a benign smile,

Never settling down on fear...

It’s you, numero uno butterfly, whom I’d trust my Life with in its nadir…

It’s your passion and dedication, for which I salute thee unto immortality...!

Dedicated to Dr.”Tiger”

And to his passion for surgery...I hope he wields miracles in EVERY step of his way...

Dreams

I believe I have a world of subconscious inside me,rather like The Pensieve,that swirls within my head slowly like a gaseous liquid.
All of them have mysterious reccurrence...a deja vu but within that same realm...called dreams.
At alternating times though i live my life there; the desirable things i want in my life happen there...nay...they do NOT involve anything materialistic.
The only thing materialistic ever featuring in those dreams is....food!

Apart from getting calls on my cellphone from people who are dead,I also have had the experience of an overwhelming feeling of being communicated with a powerful negetive energy...so much so,that i had to fight the milieu of biting feelings...and pray...in my subconscious.Hell, maybe it was just my imagination again....

Earlier,sleep was an addiction for me.I would fall asleep within 5 minutes in a delightful slumber by simply delving deeper...deeper...and deeper into thinking I'm in my imaginary lover's arms...VERY typically girlish watching all those silly romantic movies!I guess though they endorsed sleep well!

Of late, my real life has started seeping into my dreams...i find myself "dreaming" that i'm still making documents for my project(which is over a long time back now), instructing colleagues to do some mundane task: something which has already happened...deja vu in reverse... deja fait (??!!)
However the afternoon dreams are light...and sylvan.Like today i dreamed of speaking to someone like the genuinely good ol' times, and making him laugh...times i am sorely missing.
But i'm wished sweet dreams and i look forward to dreaming: the sole right i have been God gifted with that endures encore.
And though my heart may not soar like it used to before, and the tears make my eyelashes sticky and my mind wants to sleep inspite of my heart's unrest and i won't wake up on an unfinished dream even if I run late in life, i will dream good.

Sweet dreams.

Come Away With Me.

Come away with me in the night
Come away with me
And I will write you a song
Come away with me on a bus
Come away where they can’t tempt us
With their lies
And I wanna walk with you
On a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high
So won’t you try to come
Come away with me and we’ll kiss
On a mountain top
Come away with me
And I’ll never stop loving you
I wanna wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I’m safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me

So much pain inflicted
On u...on me
But i'm left being the initiator
Once more
Not one satisfying expression
Could i muster
Of my single feature
(God) Gift me one look
One glance
One touch
Qualifying his love well
Once...or one evening
So he can capture
One fleeting moment
Of happiness, served well
The love seems all...
but lost in lost hopes.
Want to just give
a cluster of humble feelings
As passing away seems closing in
Love can't be controlled...can it?

For one last moment
Seems like the magic carpet
Is slipping under my feet
An although i'm trying to bend
I can't reach it
I realize so late
I'm not Alladin.

Mon Homme

Il a le regard économe He reads economics (not sure about this line!)
Il a le verbe rare, ça me plaît He has a rare verb,that pleases me
Il aime le chant des colombes et l'odeur du café He likes colombian music and the fragrance of coffee
Et ces petites choses qu'on fait sans y penser And small things that one does without thinking about em

C'est mon homme, mon drapeau That's my man, my flag
Mon homme, celui qu'il me faut My man, the one i'm crazy about
Je frissonne je prends l'eau I shiver [i take the water-literal] i fall through...
C'est mon homme, mon abri, mon lit, mon héros That's my man,my shelter,my bed, my hero.

Il ne saurait pas comment briller
Ou comme un phare banal, oublié Or like a banal headlight,forgetting
Dans sa mer ordinaire In his ordinary sea
Il brise les vagues sans voir He breaks the waves without seeing
Ces milliers de lumières These thousands of lights
Qu'il m'offre sans le vouloir That he offers to me without wanting it.

C'est mon homme, mon drapeau
Mon homme, celui qu'il me faut
Je frissonne je prends l'eau
C'est mon homme, mon feu, mon repos That's my man,my signal, my resting place.

C'est mon homme, mon ami That's my man,my friend
Qui pardonne, celui qu'on choisit Who forgives,the one he chooses to
Quand je tâtonne, quand je faillis When i grope,when i fail
C'est mon homme qui fait ce qu'il dit That's my man who does what he says

C'est mon homme je l'admire That's my man i admire
Mon ozone, l'air que je respire My ozone,the air i breathe
Mon opium, mon jour My opium, my day
Oh mon homme, mon toit, mon chemin, Oh my man,my roof,my way,
mon amour my love.

Sorry for the crude translation,but been a long time since i read any french and translated it!
A sweet song...very french, et elle a ecrivé un peu bizarre comme moi (and its been written a bit strange like me) .

Here We Are - a love ballad that I'd forgotten, by Gloria Estefan.
Resung by Celine Dion at a special performance of 'All The Way...A Decade Of a Song'

Here we are, face to face
We forget time and place
Hold me now, don't let go
Though it hurts and we both know
The time we spend together's gonna fly
And ev'rything you do to me
Is gonna feel so right
Baby, when you're loving me
I feel like I could cry
'Cause there's nothing I can do
To keep from loving you
No, no, no, no, no, no

Here we are, all alone
Trembling hearts beating strong
Reaching out, a breathless kiss
I never thought could feel like this
I wanna stop the time from passing by
I wanna close my eyes and feel
Your lips are touching mine
Baby, when you're close to me
I want you more each time
And there's nothing I can do
To keep from loving you
(Bridge:)
There's nothing I can do
I'm helpless in your arms
Baby, what you do
I'm in love, this is it
There's no turning back this time
No, no, no
Here we are
Once again
But this time we're only friends
Funny world;
Sometimes lies
Become the game, when love's the prize
And though no one knows what's going on inside
And all the love I feel for you
Is something I should hide
When I have you close to me
The feeling's so sublime
That there's nothing I can do
To keep from loving you
No, no, no
Can't keep from loving you, baby
No, no, no
There's nothing I can do, my baby
Can't keep from loving you...

The Day Is Done

The day is done, and the darkness
Falls from the wings of Night,
As a feather is wafted downward
From an eagle in his flight.

I see the lights of the village
Gleam through the rain and the mist,
And a feeling of sadness comes o'er me
That my soul cannot resist:

A feeling of sadness and longing,
That is not akin to pain,
And resembles sorrow only
As the mist resembles the rain.

Come, read to me some poem,
Some simple and heartfelt lay,
That shall soothe this restless feeling,
And banish the thoughts of day.

Not from the grand old masters,
Not from bards sublime,
Whose distant footsteps echo
Through the corridors of Time.

For,like the strains of martial music,
Their mighty thoughts suggest
Life's endless toil and endeavor;
And tonight I long for rest.

Read from some humbler poet,
Whose songs gushed from his heart,
As showers from the clouds of summer,
Or tears from the eyelids start;

Who, through long days of labor,
And nights devoid of ease,
Still heard in his soul the music
Of wonderful melodies.

Such songs have power to quiet
The restless pulse of care,
And come like the benediction
That follows after prayer.

Then read from the treasured volume
The poems of thy choice,
And lend to the rhyme of the poet
The beauty of thy voice.

And the night shall be filled with music,
And the cares,that infest the day.
Shall fold their tents,like the Arabs,
And as silently steal away.

-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

one of my fave poems of all times....

Requiem

Under the wide and starry sky,
Dig the grave and let me lie.
Glad did i live and gladly die,
And I laid me down with a will.

This be the verse you grave for me:
Here he lies where he longed to be;
Home is the sailor, home from sea,
And the hunter home from the hill.

- Robert Louis Stevenson.

A little girl's poem

I hold on to my pillow
My strongest friend
It never judges, never speaks
Just listens quietly to some of my tears

Gives me warmth in silence
As i clutch it close in bitterness
It knows, the humblest of my feelings
That rock my soul like seas

Sadnesses are too big
Don't have time for melancholy
Moving on like clockwork
I feel hurt by a caring candour.

I love the truth myself
But can't u lie just to make
me feel good once in a blue...
or would it be asking too much of you?

I don't think i'll ever be
Understood with all my thoughts
It's okay,i guess it was just
A million and 16th time i felt lost.