Lighter Days

...and there are days like these...
Like the smell of cinnamon,melting in coffee...
Like bathing your senses,with vanilla fields
Like these lighter dayswith no chromatic keys

...and there's something so stupid happening...
You just can't stop recalling
and laughing like you never did
You're counting the trees passing
by on your return journey
You're living lighter days
with no trace of memories!

...and you get raspberry color in your hair...
You just dance on some John
Mayer music naked
You just stick out your tongue
to taste the rain all over again
You just blow pink bubbles
sauntering down the walkway...

...one of these lighter days
...the sun will shine on your bed
...you relish the freshly baked bread
...you'll wake up with a tune in your head.

Let that be enough - Switchfoot


Wish I had what I needed
To be on my own
'Cause I feel so defeated
And I'm feeling alone

And it all seems so helpless
And I have no plans
I'm a plane in the sunset
With nowhere to land

And all I see
It could never make me happy
And all my sand castles spend their time collapsing

{*}
Let me know that you hear me p'ysh
Let me know your touch p'ysh
Let me know that you love me p'ysh
Let that be enough.

It's my birthday tomorrow
No one here could know
I was born this Thursday
22 years ago

And I feel stuck watching history repeating
Yeah who am I just a kid who knows she's needy...

Beyond.
written for my Rock group(unchristened as yet!)





(chorus)
Beyond your reach
Beyond your hate
Beneath your love
Beyond your faith,i shall lay.

I brood in my tomb of silence about
the bygone days
If that's the only way to keep in touch
when you deign
To show me that somewhere for me you
still care
And you've not yet undone 'us'
thru your strength.

(chorus)
Beyond your reach
Beyond your hate
Beneath your love
Beyond your scathe,i shall remain.

Don't fake aloofness cos you'll just
fail my respect
N when u do that, i so wanna
slap you in your face
You're burning this love up like
one of your cigarettes
Wake up before you become unloved like
the whore next to you in the train.

(Bridge)
Wake up before you feel like
a wasted doll at your desk.

(chorus)
Beyond your greed
Beyond your pride
Beneath your love
Beyond your vanity,i'll dig my grave.

On my epitaph...

"She was an enigma to all who knew her...
But she always longed to be 'Esther'...and read
'The Zahir' to the man she confided her Soul to."

10 (crazy) things i'd like to do in the next 5 yrs...

• Take a pilgrimage down the road of San Tiago.(thanks to Paulo Coelho!!)
• Travel allll of Europe...esp. France!!(j'adore bien cet pays!!)
• Cut my own album with all my original songs.
• Go sky diving and horse riding and scooba diving!!! :)
• Learn the violin in a school of Music in Vienna, Austria.
• Adopt a child - preferably an Indian girl.(serious about this one,but will have to build my own home first!!!)
• Travel a desert and stay there for atleast a week.(listen to the sounds of the sifting dunes)
• Make love on a beach by moonlight! :)
• Act in a foreign language film!(have always desired this...!)
• Undergo past-life regression therapy and obtain answers to the why's and how's.

Music be...

Music be my dope, i'm a levitating addict
Music be my conflict, i'm a philosophising lunatic
Music be my lover, i'm constantly orgasmic
Music be my peace, i'm blissfully crazy

Music be my pain, i'm a fucking masochist
Music be my pleasure, i'm a passive hedonist
Music be my life, i'm spinning reincarnations on a wheel
Music be my death, i'm the fire of the phoenix

Music be my solitude, i'm the haunt of a midnight oasis
Music be my loneliness, i'm the north star of the ships
Music be my unrest, i'm the transition of galaxies
Music be my meditation, i'm the slumber of rolling hills

Music be my story, i'm the timelessness of destiny
Music be my God, i'm the baby of Eternity.

- a sonnet in honor of music - whose humble slave i forever intend to be...
- 5th octobre.

It was when i stepped offstage that evening, after successfully rendering Sweet Child O' Mine, could i finally sleep in my bed peacefully without guilt - guilt that i could sing, but was a disdainful reflection of it onstage. After having lost everything to a man, when the success registered, it brought with it a haunting, still emptiness. The conquest of beginning again with the only strand of hope i had left in me of growth had been achieved. It was over for it had begun. I achieved a drunk stupor, an overbright smile and a carelessness of manner - for nothing would suffice to express the hollowness of the depression.
The journey inward has begun. And as it pains more with each passing day, i refuse to blind myself with tears for long, refuse to ask myself questions of him, and call upon my Master to bring forgiveness in my wake. There can be no respite now...but Death.

A few more thoughts spiralling through my head...

* If age is a state of mind, i'm a 100 years old.

* If the pain of losing a loved one is strong, the pain of inacceptance from a loved one is far worse.

* Confidence is the enlightenment of balance that strikes you when you're in the midst of walking a tightrope.

* Your apathy doesn't matter anymore, 'cos i have passed my life away loving you.

* When you've lost your Soulmate, fame and success lick your feet making you feel emptier still.

* Singing a song is like having sex with a person; everytime you do it, you rediscover the pleasure of discovering another nook and corner and it elevates you higher and higher until you can hold the orgasm in no longer (until you can sing the song no more beautiful) and then you crystallise all your feelings into tears on his/her skin...like pearls from a broken string.

* Of all the walls you have to break in life, bringing down the mental walls is tougher than breaking those of fate.

* Everyone prepares for something good to come into their lives, but very few are prepared for what follows it.

* Keep your eyes open so you can never see the faults.

* When you hear music that reaches deep into your soul, it feels like candles melting in your veins.

* Laughter is my defence mechanism to the apalling absence of good humor in me.

* Men of today seem to be born with an amnesia of what honor means to a woman...and the culture of today simply amplifies its blissful ignorance, or obscures its rare presence.

* "Tests of love always end badly."

* "With my body, i thee worship."
- A Scottish vow.

* "Nothing in life is a coincidence."
- Paulo Coelho, The Pilgrimage.